<...I like feeling pain, somehow it makes me feel alive
....somehow, remembers me I still feel....>
It has taken me a long time to realize of what I rellay feel: Pain, Fear, Anger, Sorrow ,Hope, Joy. Feelings, thoughts that made me fall apart to the bottom of a broken glass full of lies that made me drown. But I ignored the Pain, I faced the Fear to melt in Anger. I overcame the Anger I felt and let the Sorrow come in. I was lost in that mist, blinded and hollowed.
<...I just want something...
....something I can never have...>
The time passed as nothing happens and I just was...me...and my thoughts. So I kept thinking and thinking and thinking. Untill one day, in which I asked myself: "Am I free?". And my answer was: "No, I´m not. Never was. Never will be. I´m just a man enslaved by his thoughts, by his feelings. I´m just a man who obey his own beliefs and defend them with sweat and blood. But perhaps, that´s what being free means: being your own slave." Was then when everything went clear inside my mind. I´m like a snake: hidden within the shadows, waiting for the perfect moment to attack its quarry, instead of just attacking.
<....You make this all.....
.....You make this all go away....>
Sometimes, I wonder if things would be easier doing only what my feelings say. Sometimes, I wonder if everything would be better being someone else. Sometimes, I´m an asshole. Sometimes, I wonder if I should just let it go. Sometimes, I think I´m afraid of falling again.Sometimes, the Pride can be annoying. But it will always remember you not to give up. Because while we still alive, while we still can breathe, there will be Hope. And after our end, Hope will remain inside our memory, as the Joy we feel fighting for our freedom.
But after all, what do I know? I´m just a shadow within a shadow watching how the world change in front of me, waiting for the perfect moment to act instead of making it happens.
<...But in the end....
....I promise I won´t let you down....
....I promise I won´t make you hurt....>
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| When your life becomes a shadow, a shadow is what you become. |
